Why u banned...INDIA'S DAUGHTER

Thanks BBC for this documentary

A documentary called 'India's Daughters' is causing much consternation in the country today. The film, made on the grotesque December 16 rape case and the protests that erupted, features an interview with one of the convicted rapists and also the defence lawyers.

Now the government has got a court injunction on the airing of the documentary after outrage by a section of the media, a few activists and some Parliamentarians over what they saw as glorification of the rapists and the provision to them of undue space to air their perverted views.

After having watched the documentary myself this afternoon, I am convinced that the protests are misguided. Why must this film be banned, and dubbed as some international conspiracy to malign India's image?

Those protesting against the film have just flown off the handle like a primetime anchor who can at best be called Outrageous Emeritus. They have made up their mind that the film is insulting to Nirbhaya without even waiting to watch it. Well it's a familiar story with every ban in this country. The most outraged are mostly the most ignorant.
 
First, on the charge of the breach of journalistic ethics in interviewing a rapist. Well, it looks terrible on the face of it. But once you see the film as a whole, you see the point. The film at no point glorifies the rapist or attempts to absolve him of his heinous act, let alone trying to influence the judicial process. It pins the blame where it belongs: on the individual and the collective psyche of the male chauvinist society that we are guilty of being.
 
The second charge is that the documentary insults and belittles the outrageous crime committed on a young girl on that fateful December night. No, it doesn't. What the film does is mirror the deep-rooted prejudices, biases and patriarchal views that translate into the most heinous of gender crimes in our part of the world.
 
The defence lawyer, who is blurting out 'gems' such as "In our society, we never allow our girls to come out from the house after 6:30 or 7:30 or 8:30 in the evening with any unknown person...You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn't have any place in our society. We have the best culture. In our culture, there is no place for a woman", is not just one individual, He is speaking for most men in our country. And these men are not confined to khap panchayats or religious institutions. These men are all around -- in politics, in police, in universities, everywhere.
 
The rapist's remarks, which cannot be directly reported, betray the commonplace mindset that women need to stay within the confines of four walls as the bearers of family honour. If not, they have it coming. If they go "astray", the patriarchal head of the family "must pour petrol on her and burn her alive" says another lawyer who is interviewed in the documentary tells us.
 
These retrograde, violent views on women are commonplace in our society. And 'India's Daughter' is not the first work that has uncovered this ugly reality. There was a Tehelka sting sometime ago that exposed the rot in the mindset of our policemen. And most of us come across them in our daily lives in one form or the other. The "blame the girl for rape" mentality is widespread and it needs to be fought by all men and women who believe in a gender-just world.
 
'India's Daughter' is just a documentary. It's not going to drastically alter the discourse on gender issues in our country, but banning it is also not going to help the fight against sexual violence.
 
Far from insulting Nirbhaya, the documentary reminds us that the battle against sexual violence is far from being won. It reminds us that we cannot pat our backs just by condemning four men to death. The thought process, the perverted ideas that give birth to, and also normalise, the barbaric treatment of women are alive and kicking in our homes, our workplaces, our streets, everywhere.
 
The film must be shown in India. It will shake up and jolt people. It's time to confront the truth and say it again and again, not run away from it crying conspiracy.

My way to happy Familly

Family.....an epitome of everything

Families are the essential building blocks of any society and happy families make a happy society. Everyone wants to live in a happy family as family is the place where human beings find the accomplishment of life. Modern families often face multiple relationship issues which have emerged as contribution of the changed lifestyle and les intense relationships.

Living in a happy family is important to mold each and every human being into responsible social beings. Home and families are places where kids and elders live with a feeling of security and also places of sharing, love, care and concern. Mutual understanding, adjustments and love creates the unbreakable bond between family members and if taken care of certain aspects, any family can be made a happy family.

All are equal 

Considering each of the family members equal and not being partial to anyone is the best qualities a family member can posses. When everybody in the family is considered equal it boosts the confidence, security feeling and affection. Accept the opinions of everyone in the family when family related decision are taken and facilitate mutual respect among family members if you wish to convert your family into a happy family.

Speak it.....

Communication is the key to build a jovial family. Be positive in your communication within the family and truly, the positive communication is the language of love. Talk to each other in the family frequently and designating family together times every day is helpful to this purpose. Even between the spouses, talking eases the tensions and promotes the attachment. Never argue or shout at each other unnecessarily. Family should be a place everyone wants to be with always.

Do everything......

Family rituals are mandatory to maintain the relationships. There are specific practicable family rituals same as religious or national. Weekly outdoor dinners, monthly pleasure trips, family songs, visiting relatives, family cooking day etc., are some of the family rituals that are helpful to bind the entire family with the strings of affection. Such activities are also called rituals of honor as they help each of the family members to understand each other and learn to honor them.

Do not argue 

Parents should be cautious to not fight before the children and blame each other for mistakes. Horrifying expressions of anger is also equally destructive. When one of the family members makes the entire family life worse with such negative expressions, others may feel family as a disliked place to be. When parents fight before the kids, they are, in fact, teaching the kids with a wrong lesson of communication. Children of fighting parents may become rebels and antisocial in the future life.

For me family is.... The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.

Prafulla